Cranky old man!

Pet peeves. It is near the anniversary of my father's death. I don't get maudlin but his grumpy man persona begins to enter my psyche. As a survivor of the Great Depression and years spent in the jungles of the Pacific theatre during WW2, my dad tended to be rather judgemental. Unfortunately, I absorbed his quick to condemn tendency. So in the spirit of crotchety old men everywhere, I wish to share with you a few of my pet peeves.

Noise. There is too much noise. I love music especially jazz and classical. I enjoy opera and ethnic music of many cultures. I am referring to noise. Cell phones are great contributors to the din around us. Loud and obnoxious ring tones and conversations that are "shared" with everyone in the speaker's vicinity. If you are wearing headphones or ear buds and I can clearly hear the music, it is too loud. Concerts produce noise levels that can cause permanent hearing loss to the attendees. The human ear is a remarkable organ. It is also fragile. Excessively loud noise in short bursts, or moderately loud noise over time will cause deafness. Sotto voce, speak softly. Indoor voices please.

Tanning. As we are in the throes of prom season, I wish to add my warning to the many advocates for avoiding ultraviolet radiation exposure. Tanning booths and sun exposure have two very injurious consequences, cancer and wrinkles. UV radiation damages the DNA of skin cells and the connective tissues of the skin. Squamous cell, basal cell and melanoma are becoming more prevalent in the users of tanning salons. Looking like a prune when you are in your thirties is the price for that glowing tan in your teens.

Binging. As I have reported in a previous blog, I enjoy alcoholic beverages. What I find distressing is the imbibing of large quantities of alcohol in a short period of time. This practice is rife on college campuses and increasingly at parties of high school students. The side effects may be tragic. Drinking responsibly is difficult in the face of peer pressure. Talk to your children and set a good example in your own intake of alcohol.

Protection. Sex comes later, this is about protective equipment and practices. Wear seatbelts. No exceptions ("I was just driving to the store"). If you are on a bicycle, motorcycle, or moped, wear a helmet. Use protective eyewear. Sunglasses that block UV rays will decrease the formation of cataracts. Safety glasses should be worn when using any type of tool, when using a lawn mower, and when riding any form of open transport. Boarders on the street or on the snow should wear appropriate padding and head protection. All skiers should use helmets. Walkers and runners should be on the left side of the road facing oncoming traffic.

Driving is a complex activity. It requires hearing, vision, coordination and attention. The state should not have to pass a law banning hands on cell phone use or texting while driving. Common sense should be used to avoid distraction while piloting a 1-2 kiloton vehicle in traffic. Avoid eating, shaving, applying makeup and tailgating.

Body art. The world's oldest ER doc has several tattoos. A t-shirt is enough to cover all my tats. Using your entire body surface area as a canvas may be a detriment when one is applying for a job. There is also the risk of transmission of HIV and hepatitis B and C from contaminated needles, inks, and even ink cups at the tattoo parlor or piercing salon. I would also advice my readers, that some parts of the human anatomy should not be pierced. Infection and scarring in these areas may be problematic.

Sex. Enjoy. Protection part II. Having sex is necessary for survival of the species. Only a few other animals seem to derive as much pleasure from intercourse as humans. Sex should never be coercive. Mutually pleasurable practices between consenting people is natural and very human. Two issues must be addressed by this cranky old man. Use birth control. I have seen too many "children having children". Sexually transmitted diseases are the other unfortunate side effect of a lack of protection.

That about covers this ER doc's pet peeves. Notice that they all involve things that are enjoyable. The problem is that my aged and well developed frontal lobes are immune from youthful indiscretions. The immature frontal lobes of young people make them "deaf" to my warnings. Wisdom comes at a price. Dad would tell me that I should listen to and heed his teachings.